Allan

At the end of last summer we found out our family friend Allan Blad had cancer.  He went down hill really, really fast.  Which happens when you get a cancer that is very aggressive and was already all over his body.  Amazingly enough he was able to come home from the hospital after being there on and off for like 6 weeks.  He was able to be home and try some treatments (his cancer doesn't respond to chemo).  He slowly kept loosing weight and getting sicker and sicker.  January 25th he never woke  up and peacefully died at home.  He left behind a wife and six children.  Their one son that was on a mission came home a bit early and was able to spend the last couple of weeks of his dad's life with them.  Their youngest is only 10 years old.  

Bryan has been friends with Allan for a lot of years.  He especially enjoyed playing church ball with him.  They were always teasing and laughing about things with each other.  When we went to his viewing we could see him in the casket and Bryan leaned over to me and said "that's just the shell of a man." He had lost over 100 pounds and didn't really look much like he did. I had a strong feeling though that Bryan was right.  That wasn't Allan.  That was his body but it wasn't Allan.  His family is doing pretty good. It's hard to see his wife now and know the loss she must be feeling.  I mean she has to go at this alone with all those kids.  I'm sure she is scared. I'm sure she feels so alone. And even though he was so sick when he died and he just wanted to be free of it it's hard to think of the person he was and not miss him.  It's weird to see Bryan playing church ball without him their.  He was always their.  

I just look around at my family and realize that I am lucky to be here and at healthy as I am.  We took the kids the Disneyland the day after his funeral and I just felt like this kind of stuff is the most important we can do.  Family time, and family memories.  I love my little boy family.  My husband is crazy but he is mine and I love him.  I'm lucky to have him to help me and support our family.  I'm lucky to have him teaching my boys sports and hunting.  To play and wrestle with.  Lately I've been really worried about my health this next year and I just hope  my kids know how much I really love them too.  Allan was a very involved dad and his kids knew he loved them.  So I'm taking this and trying to learn from it.    

 Last summer we went to Allan Jr.'s wedding reception and of course his dad was there.  Bryan asked me to take a picture of them together which is odd and isn't that he asked. He just told me not long ago he had a feeling he needed a picture with him.  This was a month or so before he started to get really sick.

The day our basketball team won region. 

The day Allan died we had this beautiful sunset.  We felt like it was Allan smiling on us or something like that.