Stockton

Seriously I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid.  Today I went to put the milk away and noticed he had stuck the bredding part of his corn dog in the milk jug.  I couldn't get it out and was worried I would end up eating chunks so I decided it was better just to dump it all down the drain. I'm pretty sure he put most of his bread in there.  

 He tells me every night "don't turn the dark on mom".  He hates the dark.

My sister in law Jenny told him the other day "you sure are cute Stockton" and he said Yeah I know I am.
He keeps telling me to call him all different names. One day he is Yoda (like on his shirt) then the next he is spiderman.  Other days he is a dinosaur and so on.  Totally depends on what his shirt he had on that day.

He loves Paul Bunuion lately.  He carries a stick or whatever else singing "hey Paul- Paul Bunion.!  He's 63 ax handles high..." etc.  He even marches along.

First day of school 2013

I've been dreading the first day of school for awhile because I have loved the summer.  It's so nice not to have to get everyone up and going early and worry about homework and all of that.  I've been really worried about Tyson this school year too and I wasn't looking forward to dealing with that.  We had back to school night the night before which was good for me and the boys.  I was kind of worried after meeting Tyson's teachers and seeing their classroom.  I'm worried about him having two teachers this year and the one is BAND new that they JUST hired her like 2 weeks ago.  After Ty and I left their room on back to school night Ty kept saying "didn't my classroom look run?  My teachers were nice huh mom.  I know some kids in my class mom." He was happy to start school the next day after that.  

 Blake's schedule is weird because he is in Kindergarten.  The first day I went with him for a hour to get to know his teacher and she answered a lot of questions we had.  Blake has a little class of only 17 students (a teachers dream!) and he knows 3 of the kids already.  It makes and him and me feel better when we can do that together.  He was mad at me ALL DAY waiting for his hour to go.  We had the last hour of the school day so he was really upset about how long it was taking.  He came into the kitchen smelling really good and I asked him what the smell was.  He said it was Dad's smelly stuff.  (cologne) I texted Bryan because I thought it was cute he wanted to look and smell his best for school.  Bryan wrote back he was out of it.  Come to find out he sprayed some of my tommy girl on.  He was really upset when he found out.  Haha.  I had to write that one done because it was too cute and funny.

He went for his first real day of school the next day.  I have to be honest.  It was really, really nice to only have my little two home.  Especially when I put Brett down for a nap so it was just Stockton and I. I went to pick them up at the school and Blake was so happy when he came out.  I started to talk to my cousin whose little girl is in his class and all the sudden I heard this "ping" noise.  I looked at Blake and he said he threw a rock and it missed a tree he was aiming for and hit a car parked near by.  This guy gets out and starts yelling.  I walk up with Blake and apologize over and over and said my little boy accidentally hit your car.  He kept saying stuff like "who did this?  It was on purpose!" I said it was my little boy and I promise that it isn't in his nature to do stuff like that on purpose and I'm sure it was a accident.  Then this other mom came to our defense and said yes he was throwing something at a tree and missed.  I kept apologizing to him and said if there is any damage I would be happy to give him my information.  He finally walked back into his car but just HAD to say as he was getting in to "get a hold of your kids" to me.  Ok, that was it.  Blake was at total fault and should never been throwing rocks around cars and I felt bad it happened.  What else did he want me to say?  I'm sure he never did ANYTHING like that as a kid.  And I'm sure his kid in the back seat of his car NEVER has done ANYTHING like that.  I was so mad.  How dare he call me a bad mom.  I'm mean seriously!  Where the crap does he get off.  It totally ruined Blake's first day of school.  I hope he feels better yelling at a little mom holding a baby with two little kids next to her.  It was totally humiliating.  I wish I would have told  him off right there. Had he not gotten into his car when he did I was totally ready to go toe to toe.  I guess you could say that the mama bear in me came out.  I get he was mad and I'm sure he was positive Blake was trying to hit his car but good heck the kid is 5! And why to bullies always say something as they are leaving. What a jerk.  Sorry, it still makes my blood boil.  There were hundreds of kids and tons of parents all over and to have a guy treat me like I was a horrible mom with no control over her kids was really low.  I really couldn't have been any nicer to him. So here's hoping for a better week next week after that! I do have to say this though- at least Blake knows that I will always stand up for him.

 When I was talking Blake's back to school pictures Stockton wanted to get in on the action. I have to say I have really cute kids.

 I can't believe Tyson is a 2nd grader.  I did some of my student teaching in a 2nd grade class and I loved that age.  They get to do and learn so many fun things this year.  I honestly had to take 155 pictures to get 5 or 6 decent ones of Ty.  He just doesn't like looking at the camera when I take his picture. Or he does and pulls a weird face.  He is a total crack up.  We pulled up the school and he told me he was fun to walk in by himself but I made him let me and the little boys walk him over.  (I have some cute pictures on my phone I'll have to add later.) He ran right in like it was no big thing.  You worry so much as a mom about kids being nice to your baby, letting them play with them.  Including them and being kind to them.  I worry about him getting lost in the school and getting hurt at recess.  I worry about him not getting enough to eat for lunch and EVERYTHING ELSE! 2nd grade is a lot easier for me then first though.

 After I did all of the other boys I thought I better get Brett too.  Oh  my word I love this kid.  I could just eat him up.  He is growing up so fast!  And BEST NEWS EVER! At his well check the other day we tested him and found out he isn't allergic to milk anymore!!  I'm still nervous to give him much milk but he LOVED the frosty I gave him the other day.  It's so nice to give him whatever we are eating now.  I love it!

Bear Lake 2013

We haven't been to bear lake all summer then we ended up going two weeks in a row.  My dad had access to a cabin by the lake so we stayed there a couple of days.  We played on the jet skis and at the beach.  We also had passes to use ideal beach and it's pools and things so we did that too.  My boys love playing in the sand and splashing around in the water.  It made it more fun to be there with family. The cabin we stayed in was really nice!  It was 5 bedrooms and three floors.  We had the basement to ourselves which was nice.  It's always a special treat to stay somewhere that isn't home.  It was right off a golf course and so my boys went out searching for golf balls. 

 My brother and sis in law were there with my niece Kiya. 

 

Kiya

 Pack Grandkids- minus Nate and Sierra's baby boy due in January!!  So excited to have a boy cousin!

 Brett and Kiya are a week apart.  It's fun to see these two grow up together.  I really love this picture.

 Brett giving Kiya a kiss.  Her face is priceless !

 Ty got a little wind blown from the jet ski.  He loves to go fast! 

 Stockton had his first trip on a jet ski with Grandpa.  

 Blake went a few times with me and Grandma

 My brave Tyson decided to ride on the tube with Nate.  I am such a chicken when it comes to stuff like that so I'm so glad Ty isn't.  I hate that I'm scared to do so many fun things and I don't want my kids to be like that too.

 Stockton wadding his face with a huge chuck of brownie. 

 Ty and Nate spent a lot of the afternoon building this cool sand castle.

Then at the last minute I decided to head with my Palmer Sister in Laws to bear lake for the day this week. Kind of our last hurrah of summer.  Katie and her kids drove down from Wyoming so my boys really wanted to go and see them so we went.  

 My niece McCall had the CUTEST hat and sunglasses ever!  Totally cracked me up she carried her little bucket and ball everywhere she went for awhile.

 The boys had a mud war.

 The older boys turned themselves into mud men.  There was a ton of clay in the water that was fun to play in but horrible to walk through.

 Stockton budded up to a couple of my nieces.  McCall is a  year younger then him and I've never seen him try to play with her until this.  He laughed and stayed by her for awhile. Then he hung around Sannette and jabbered to her for awhile.  It was really cute.

Brett and Sannette.  

Thoughts on Turning the big 3-0

I'm turning 30 here in about a week and I've been doing a lot of self reflection the last few months or so about myself.  I feel like I've lost who I am for the last few years.  I am so busy taking care of little kids or being extremely stick and pregnant that I've had little time to really even think about myself let alone take care of myself.  Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate that mothers have to live their lives totally for themselves and that kids just get in the way.  I'm totally the opposite.  My life is 100% centered around my family and I think I have it a little wrong.  There are times where I just need to do something that I really enjoy because it makes me a happier person- therefore a happier mom.  Which is what we all strive for I think.  But when I had Brett my whole world flipped.  I felt like every ounce of me went totally to just the basics of taking care of my kids and I had nothing left.  It's a horrible feeling.  I got a little depressed because I just didn't feel like I was good at anything because I did everything half way.  The worse part is my kids and my husband got the brunt of it I'm sure.  So here are a few things I have learned about myself now that I have a few minutes here and there to think about something other then dishes, diapers and kids!

Even though my husband doesn't believe me I do have hobbies! I really, really love taking pictures.  I love to take lots and lots of them hoping to get that one amazing shot that I will love for a lifetime.  I love to put photos in books and scrapbook them. I love looking at them.  I even love looking at other peoples photos.  I feel like I can capture a little bit of my children's childhood in a picture. Little drops of memories.  I love my nice camera I bought a few years ago.  I love to bring it with me and sorry for those who it bothers but I taking two seconds for your kid to look at me isn't that big of a deal.  Especially when later they are like "oh I need a copy of that picture!" yep you do because you didn't think to bring a camera and now you want all the pictures I take because I do.  Hey I know how it works.

I love to sew.  But I have to be in the mood.  I hate the math in it- figuring out sizes and taking out the amount you sew etc.  I love to see a blanket come together.  I wish I had more time, money and patiences to sew. This one is the one that has been neglected the most I'm afraid because who can sew with a baby at your feet trying to push the peddle! I can't at least.

I LOVE my flower beds!  I love to garden!  I don't even mind pulling weeds to some extent.  I am always moving flowers around and added more here and there.  I love it when people tell me who good my flower beds look.  They are a lot of work! I wish I had more of them though.  Something I'm trying to talk Bryan into.

One thing Bryan wishes I loved but I hate is cleaning.  I don't enjoy cleaning.  For some it's almost a hobby but for me it's ALL Chore. I love a clean house but with my 4 little boys it just never stays that way for more then 30 minutes and it makes me crazy.  I had to let it go and be content with a few toys on the floor.  I'm ok with laundry that needs to be folded and a few dishes in the sink.  I will admit that when there is junk everywhere it makes me crazy and I have to get it up because I feel stressed with too much clutter.  So sorry honey- I am not going to have a spotless house.  At least while my kids are young.  I'm ok with that.  I would rather do things I love or be with those I love instead of cleaning.

I'm starting to feel more confident in myself.  I know it ends up being a bad thing sometimes but if someone doesn't like me so what.  I don't try to put people off but if you walk by and I'm yelling at my kids (which I wish I did less of but it's the truth) and you pass judgement on me it sounds like your problem not mine.  I'm sure this is the reason I don't have any real good friends but I'm just trying to survive my life.  This drives Bryan CRAZY because he REALLY cares what people think about him.  He acts like he doesn't but he is really does.  He is always getting after me for stuff I say or do.  I'm just myself all the time.  I don't put on a fake face to people and while I don't tell people off if I'm mad about something I have a super hard time hiding it.  So I'm sorry if I say something that offends you.  I never say something to make someone feel bad on purpose and I apologize for that. I am what I am and I'm sorry if you don't like it.  I like to talk a lot.  Sorry but that's just me.  I use a lot of hand gestures when I talk.  It's weird I know but it's not a bad thing so deal with it.  I raise my voice and sound mad when I'm not.  That is something I'm working on but it's hard to work on something you don't know your doing it until it's done.  I yell too much- true and something I don't like about myself.  I get overwhelmed a lot and yell.  I'm sorry though if someone is sitting on Brett's head I'm not going to be polite and ask them to kindly get off.  I yell! Get off your brothers head!! If someone wakes Brett up early from a nap (my biggest pet peeve) I am going to yell at them.  Which happens EVER DAY and drives me CRAZY! I need those naps to survive! Even though I don't act like it I like to spend time with my boys.  I feel bad when the men in the Palmer family are always the ones going out and doing fun things and the women say home and watch kids.  What is up with that?  This isn't 1913 it's 2013.  I think men should help with the kids when they are home.  I think it should be 50/50 that way.  Not cleaning just taking care of kids.  Like changing diapers!  I bet I've changed over 15000 diapers if not more.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.  I'm ready for feeling like I'm worth something and people are missing out that don't know me.  So here's to turning 30- I'm ready for a new chapter in my life!  Lots of taking and raising kids and a little more part dedicated to me because that's ok.

Loving the Summertime

I love summers in Cache Valley.  I love tinkering in my flower beds and garden.  I the kids riding their bikes and love hearing people out mowing their lawns.  Even though we haven't been doing a lot of big things this summer I feel like it's been a really fun one.  

 We had "darth Maul" come and fight my jedi's the other night.  Stockton got really into it.  I love that Bryan does stuff like that every once in awhile.

 My flower beds look a lot better now even then this.  I need to take a updated picture.  I really do love my flower beds.  I'm still trying to get Bryan to let me put a bunch more in.  I don't even mind weeding I almost hate to admit.  I don't let it get bad enough that it turns into a chore.  If my yard looks really nice and put together it gives the illusion that the inside of my house is that nice.  (which with 4 boys is for me next to impossible to keep up) One of my fav things of summer is snaps.  What a cheep fun activity for the kids to do.  They love them! Even Brett.

 24th of July Pioneer year day North Logan Parade.  We ended up being there with ALL of the cousins.  Pretty sure that will never happen again! It was really fun and VERY HOT.

 After 6 years of work we FINALLY got a little bit of raspberries from my garden.  For how many plants I have it was pathetic of many we got but enough the boys got to go pick a cup every couple of days and eat them.  I wish I had enough for Jam but oh well.

 I had some zucanni grow from last year- and they grew really weird!  But I'm the only one who will eat it so we just make boats and float them down the ditch.

 24th of July fireworks.  We always go to my in laws because we can see them from her house.

 Stockton helping daddy mow the lawn.  He is dads helping with this for sure!

 Brett walks up to the swing and scrams until I put him in and push him forever.  He is dang funny. He does this really bad with my garage freezer because he knows their are otter pops in it.

 My lack of pictures of Blake is totally due to the fact he hates getting his picture taken.  He is really proud of how he can ride the two wheeler now!  So proud of my Blake! He rides his bike all the time now.  Which made Tyson start riding his again.

 I can't tell you how much I love this picture.  He was chasing the kids in his shark costume.

My sweet baby eating a popsicle with dad.  I love little baby teeth.